


Who You Are

by circ_bamboo



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Gen, LGBTQ Character, Queer Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-01
Updated: 2010-10-01
Packaged: 2017-10-17 19:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/180286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/circ_bamboo/pseuds/circ_bamboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/igrockspock">igrockspock</a>'s prompt at the multifandom pride meme: McCoy and his wife got divorced because he was gay. Divorce is hard, but being who you are feels good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who You Are

**Author's Note:**

  * For [igrockspock](https://archiveofourown.org/users/igrockspock/gifts).



“Hello, Dr. McCoy.” Gaila set her lunch tray opposite him in the cadets’ mess hall. “You’re eating alone.”

“I’m not good company today, Cadet Gaila,” McCoy said, dredging up a smile for her from somewhere. “How are you?”

“I’m fine,” she said. “Exams are coming up, though.”

McCoy nodded, and pushed his leftover rice around on his plate.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Gaila asked, after a few minutes of silence.

“Talk about what?” It came out rather more sharply than he intended.

“Whatever’s making you miserable,” she said.

“Not really, no,” he said, but couldn’t think of a single topic of conversation. “What exams do you have this semester?” he asked finally, remembering her earlier comment.

“Advanced Warp Core Mechanics 1, Intermediate Andorian 1, and a couple of math classes,” she said. “And you?”

“Advanced Xenobiology 2 and a flight training. The rest of my classes are all clinics.”

“You skipped straight to advanced Xenobiology?” she asked.

“You’re already on advanced warp cores?” he countered, and she laughed, bright and musical.

“So what happened?” she asked.

He sighed, and didn’t pretend to misunderstand her. “Nothing happened today. It’s the year anniversary of my divorce becoming final.”

“Oh,” Gaila said. “Was it awful?”

“Yeah, it was awful. Let me give you some worthless advice, Ms. Gaila,” he said, leaning forward. “Don’t ever marry a divorce attorney unless you know there’s no chance of it ending.”

“Oh, I’m not going to get married,” Gaila said. “But there’s always a chance of it ending, isn’t there?”

He shrugged noncommittally.

“Oh, wait. You mean that you knew it wasn’t going to last when you married her?”

“I did,” McCoy said, although he didn’t volunteer why.

Gaila shrugged. “I’m told that there are all sorts of reasons for humans to get married, and I can guess that there are all sorts of reasons for marriages to end.”

“It’s true,” McCoy said. After another couple minutes of silence, he said, “You’re not going to ask me why it ended, are you.”

Gaila shook her head. “I really want to, but Nyota—my roommate—tells me that things like this are none of my business.”

“I’d tell you, if you asked.” As soon as he said it, he knew it was true. Strange, he thought. Cadet Gaila wasn’t one of his close friends, although they were definitely friendly.

She looked at him, her head tipped slightly to one side. “All right, then, Dr. McCoy, why did you and your ex-wife divorce?”

Of course, now that he’d decided he was ready to say it, it stuck in his throat. He swallowed, took a sip of his coffee, and tried again. “I’m not—particularly—attracted to women.”

Gaila nodded. “I had figured as much.”

“Oh?” McCoy raised an eyebrow. Just because he didn’t act like Jim, it didn’t mean—

“I’m Orion,” she said. “I can smell that you don’t particularly want me.”

“It’s possible that you’re not my type,” he said, but knew it wasn’t true. The Orion pheromones, mostly suppressed by the pills she took daily, didn’t care if one normally liked curvy green redheads; they only cared if one was capable of being attracted to women. Gaila’s look suggested that she knew that—of course she did—and he sighed. “I was young, I was stupid, and I was stuffed full of family stories about ‘the one’ and how you’ll just know when you meet your mate. It was crap, but when I met Joss, I was maybe faintly attracted to her, because she was—she is—so smart and so beautiful and so capable, so I thought she was the one. And it was stupid, because I realized she wasn’t maybe six months later, but I didn’t want to lose her, I didn’t want her out of my life. And I fucked all that up. Pardon my language.”

“I’m sorry, Dr. McCoy,” Gaila said, and she did look sympathetic.

“But you know what?” he said. “The divorce was fucking awful, I’m not going to lie, but being who you are? That—that feels good.” And, he realized, so did not hiding.

Gaila’s smile was almost beatific. She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. “You’re right, Dr. McCoy,” she said. “Pretending to be someone or something you aren’t—that sucks.”

“Do you—do you have to pretend that?” He wasn’t sure how to ask the question.

Gaila paused and appeared to think about it for a moment. “You know what? Yes, but pretending to be human around humans is much less of an act than what I had to do on Orion Prime, and this time it’s my choice, not someone else’s or society’s choice for me.”

“May the deity of your choosing bless you in whatever way you desire, Cadet Gaila,” McCoy said, after a moment of stunned silence.

Gaila smiled again, her teeth bright white against her skin. “And you, Dr. Leonard McCoy. Although,” she added cheekily, “I’m voting for the deity to bless you with a nice, hot boyfriend.”

McCoy could only laugh and shake his head.


End file.
